Skip to Navigation | Skip to Content

think4yourself

apsies:

theonion:

62-Year-Old With Gun Only One Standing Between Nation And Full-Scale Government Takeover: Full Story

“As long as there’s someone like Earl out there with a gun and ammunition, we are unable to carry out our attack on America,” said Maxwell Caufield, a covert military leader in charge of the operation to turn the country into an authoritarian, one-party state wherein the basic rights of citizens are stripped away in order to create total government control. “Try as we did to spread our distorted gun control propaganda—claiming that it would protect innocent people across the country from needless deaths—the man just wouldn’t bite. There is simply nothing we can do about Earl and his gun, damn him.”

apsies:

theonion:

62-Year-Old With Gun Only One Standing Between Nation And Full-Scale Government Takeover: Full Story

“As long as there’s someone like Earl out there with a gun and ammunition, we are unable to carry out our attack on America,” said Maxwell Caufield, a covert military leader in charge of the operation to turn the country into an authoritarian, one-party state wherein the basic rights of citizens are stripped away in order to create total government control. “Try as we did to spread our distorted gun control propaganda—claiming that it would protect innocent people across the country from needless deaths—the man just wouldn’t bite. There is simply nothing we can do about Earl and his gun, damn him.”

All Notes

  1. indecisive-days reblogged this from cognitivedissonance
  2. trayntp reblogged this from theonion and added:
    Earl is fake, but there are actually real people like him out there. People who don military fatigues and plaster yellow...
  3. sawyeriii1776 reblogged this from think4yourself
  4. awindfallofwhims reblogged this from theonion
  5. nethnix reblogged this from well-this-escalated-quickly
  6. well-this-escalated-quickly reblogged this from lalabunney
  7. lalabunney reblogged this from halluc
  8. boingerm reblogged this from bbmiroku
  9. purposelessnessismypurpose reblogged this from minnesotashrike
  10. bbmiroku reblogged this from theonion
  11. sexwithsquidward reblogged this from thispainshallpassaway
  12. thispainshallpassaway reblogged this from theonion
  13. kittymanifestoo reblogged this from thegoldenboyisaac
  14. thegoldenboyisaac reblogged this from ambergerchild
  15. lenieclarke reblogged this from coded
  16. impededstream reblogged this from theonion
  17. thevvinterbeard reblogged this from minnesotashrike
  18. minnesotashrike reblogged this from tatrtotz
  19. tatrtotz reblogged this from think4yourself
  20. snorzhov reblogged this from theonion
  21. thebuzzandglow reblogged this from ramblerrover
  22. abriefhistoryofwhoilove reblogged this from theonion
  23. hopelessromancexo reblogged this from twiggado
  24. tomhankies reblogged this from theonion
  25. misterbombastic reblogged this from pixie-wings-and-rory-things
  26. notawallaby reblogged this from theonion
  27. bulletproof-and-dripping-in-gold reblogged this from monaters
  28. monaters reblogged this from theonion
  29. macaroniandglitter reblogged this from theonion
  30. hanlonsbarber reblogged this from asloth